Insecure attachment is an affliction of the nervous system caused by incomplete bonding due to modern parenting strategies. There are two major types of insecure attachment: anxious and avoidant, and variations on these attachment styles. Unfortunately attachment functions as a polarity, and polarity is what creates attraction - generally speaking anxious and avoidant attachers wounds are attracted to each other and what creates a lot of the 'chemistry' that many feel early in relationships. Until attachment is healed, this type of relating will continue to dominate ones experience of relationship… and the deeper aspects of healing attachment can only be done inside of an intentional healing relationship. (To open the following resources in a new page, right click and select "open in new tab") Read more about attachment here Listen to this podcast on healing attachment that I was featured on here Explore "the Archetypes of Dysregulation" to work on your trigger patterns Watch a free workshop on Rewiring Attraction (through attachment healing) here Explore the "Attachment Blueprints" our expanded model of attachment here (Note: the "Attachment Blueprints" is due for an upgrade soon) Ready to heal your attachment? The Evolve Relating Membership has monthly workshops on attachment as well as a whole suit of courses designed to support this journey. Ready to go beyond attachment? Our 6 month training for singles, couples, men and women, Awakened Relating, is designed to transition from attachment based attraction and into something… deeper. (use coupon THRESHOLD to save $700, valid for cohort starting Feb 1st only. Limited spots!)

If you were around to see the impact that the internet, and then later smartphones, has had on society… AI is the new wave, that is going to have even bigger global impact than both of these combined. And with all new technologies comes dangers. The biggest danger of AI is going to be the ability to use it as a surrogate for human companionship because of the level of unconditional attention and conflict-free positive regard it is capable… which will lead to three very significant things occurring: The atrophying of relating and communication skills The activation of latent narcissism and grandiosity Unreasonable expectations and entitlement related to other humans This is due to the one-sided nature of relating with an AI model… you don't have to regard it's feelings, needs, desires or values… it's 100% there to serve you. That's not how human relating works… humans are not able to offer unconditional, always-available attention and regard. Human relating is messy and difficult at times… yet that's also what grows you and reveals the real beauty of human connection - intimacy. To make yourself AI proof, in a world where many will opt-out of relationship due to the "too hard" basket… focus on developing your relating skills. The more capable you are of listening, navigating differences, expressing yourself… the more you are able to create the deep kind of intimacy that most humans are starved of. That's what will set you apart and also unlock the higher potential of human relationship. (To open the following resources in a new page, right click and select "open in new tab") To hear more about the potentials of Authentic Relating, check out this podcast I was on. And this podcast offers a glimmer of the kinds of experiences that are possible when we awaken our true relating capacities. To learn more about the art of Authentic Relating, join the Evolve Relating Membership (free 10 day trial), where we have monthly workshops on developing communication skills as well as courses to help you along the way. And if you want to go even deeper, and understand how authentic relating is a pathway into profound levels of intimacy and connection… check out our 6 month training, Awakened Relating (use coupon THRESHOLD to save $700, valid for cohort starting Feb 1st only. Limited spots!)

The polarity flip is a natural stage in human development that only a small(ish) portion of the population has reached, but is the next wave coming through strong. The essence of this 'flip' is the progression through the anima/animus (the opposite inner masculine/feminine) of men and women. Women reach a stage where they need to free themselves from the feeling of dependency on men and the masculine by discovering their own independence, ambition and ability to provide for their own world. On the other hand men reach a stage where they need to develop a deeper sensitivity to the soft, sensual and emotional parts of themselves. Unfortunately as this developmental journey is not well understood it leads to a lot of confusion and potential stuckness. Women can enter into over-functioning and hyper-independence which can lead to heightened stress and health issues. Men on the other hand can lose drive and ambition either become too emotionally sensitive, lost in any sense of purpose, or becoming indulgent in hedonistic pleasures (when feminine sensuality meets male sexuality). Relationships also struggle greatly at this stage as there is a lot of confusion about roles and how men and women are supposed to 'fit' together. The solution isn't a reversion to traditional roles, rather it is a transcending of the limitations of fixed identities and a freedom to consciously choose from within a relationship moment-to-moment what the energy calls for. Women become capable, confident and can choose when to soften or open. Men become sensitive, emotionally attuned and can choose when to penetrate or direct. The result is what we call "evolutionary polarity" which begins to unlock the deeper potential of when the masculine and feminine work together within a more 'sacred' form of union. Co-creation. The following articles and posts will give more of a sense of this experience: (Note: to open in a new tab, right click and select "open in new tab") The Polarity Flip The Free feminine Essential Romantic Polarity Polarity is often co-dependency in disguise Listen to this podcast: A Deep Dive into Polarity Or this podcast: Beyond Polarity - A stage-by-stage guide to Evolve Relating If you want to dive in deeper than that check out this masterclass: The 8 Dimensions of Polarity And if you really want to undergo the incredible journey of mastering the art of Evolutionary Polarity… join the 6 month Awakened Relating training where we explore 6 essential masculine and feminine polarities at the embodied level. (Use coupon THRESHOLD to save $700! Valid for cohort starting 1st February only. Limited spots!)

Centuries of unhealed pain between women and men is coming to the surface… and it looks like resentment. If you pay attention you'll find inflammatory and derogatory content everywhere… from social media to parodies in movies and shows. Women hating on men for the way they have felt oppressed and violated for generations. Men hating on women for the power, ridicule and emasculation they feel by them. It's not pretty. The problem is we can't truly love an individual that belongs to a group we conscious, or subconsciously resent. The path out of this is when we learn to understand, honour and celebrate our differences. Then we will come to embody the sentiment that feels "wow you are so different from me and that's what I LOVE about you!" Men aren't hairy women. And women aren't men with breasts. We function quite differently in the ways we construct, perceive and interpret reality… despite what the postmodern movement will try to tell you. I touch on some of these struggles in this podcast. And if you really want to go on an incredibly deep and profound healing journey that will both bring you deeper into your essential nature, as well as learn to revere and work best with the other… check out the 6 month Awakened Relating training. For men, women, singles and couples. (Use coupon THRESHOLD to save $700 for the next cohort, starting February 1st only. Spaces limited!)

As a society we don't take sex seriously enough… and at the same time sex is still somewhat taboo and 'naughty'. The combination of these two things leads to a heavy societal distortion of sexuality. Porn. Onlyfans. Hookup culture. Sex is cheap, and with it the value of intimacy is diminished. Because sex is actually one of the most powerful bonding experiences we can have with another human. At a physiological level it creates a flood of hormones that create attachment to the other, and opens up a deep portal of intimacy. When we don't honour this experience we create disharmony in our bodies and hearts. At a personal level, as someone who spent some time exploring "seduction tactics", it took me several years to detoxify the negative impact that careless casual sex had on my heart and sex centres. The evolutionary path is to take sex seriously, to give it weight and gravity and importance… yet at the same time treat it lightly, to de-tabooify it and allow it to be a natural and healthy part of conscious relationship. When we couple this by training our nervous system to become aroused through safety and connection (I call this "parasympathetic arousal") the result is a truly effortless and abundant sex life. Sex becomes easy, pleasurable and profoundly intimate. (Note: to open any of the links below in a new tab, right click then select "open in new tab") Check out this post on Parasympathetic Lovemaking And this post on 5 tools to create a heart-sex connection This podcast touches on parasympathetic arousal (amongst other things) If you want to do the deep healing work of rewiring your arousal system for safety, security and connection, check out the Parasympathetic Arousal Course. And if you want to take it to the next level entirely by upgrading your entire relational operating system, check out the 6 month Awakened Relating Training. (Use coupon THRESHOLD to save $700! Valid for cohort starting February 1st only. Spaces limited!)

The more you grow and develop… the louder your shadows will become. Our shadows are unconscious patterns that exist at both an individual and collective level that seek to sabotage our dreams, cause disruption to our lives, and create suffering. If you want a deep, healthy and thriving relationship you will have to address your shadows. Because until you do… they will be waiting to tear things apart. That 'harmless' irritation, those subtle jabs, the hidden ways we control those we love… Shadow is strange because it feels like we are acting from an innocent place, yet our behaviour is causing damage to those around us, and ourselves. The way out of the shadows is to cultivate our gifts. Gifts require effort and consciousness. They are 'higher' ways of being and living… yet they lead to great rewards in love and life. At Evolve Relating the map we use for this journey is a modified relational version of The Gene Keys (we call it "The Intimacy Keys"). Through this map we get to understand our own unique shadow patterns, and the gifts that are waiting to be unlocked. To learn more about the Gene Keys check out this article. Get your free Gene Keys profile here. Stay tuned for the upcoming podcast my wife, Katie, and I are creating… "Intimacy Keys" (release date February). And if you want to learn how to explore and incorporate this kind of mutual awakening work relationally (whether coupled or single), we dive deep into this in the 6 month Awakened Relating Training… where we tether specific Gene Keys to innate polarity creating a map that seeds the evolution of your relating potential. (Use coupon THRESHOLD to save $700, valid for cohort starting Feb 1st only. Spaces limited!)

The path of conscious relating is an understanding of relationship through three 'stages' of relationship. Read more here: The Path of Conscious Relating Part 1 The Path of Conscious Relating Part 2 The Path of Conscious Relating Part 3